Last night in Hanoi

Well, everything is packed up and ready to go tomorrow morning. The driver is coming to pick us up at 7:45AM for our 10AM flight. We have a 4hr layover in Hong Kong before our direct flight (from hell) to JFK. We are really worried that the kids will start throwing some of their marathon tantrums on the way home.

Today we did a little more shopping and sightseeing, but it rained in the afternoon, so we mostly stuck around the hotel, packing, going to the playroom and the mall in the lower level. Gianna was talking A LOT. She was even singing and clapping her hands, helping me pack up the suitcases. Maybe she knows she's going to her new home in America? So long Hanoi! I'm moving on to bigger and better things! We went to dinner tonight and she ate potato soup--her first American food. Well, not counting M&M's which she now craves like heroin. I played puppets with my prawn heads using a George Bush voice. She loved Mr. Prawn and the prawn family. Too bad the waitress had to take them away.

Hang gave us Gianna's passport, birth certificate, and a large sealed envelope with her immigration papers. Gianna is a US citizen as soon as we touch down on US soil, but the immigration officers at JFK have the authority to let us into the country. It was nice getting to know Gianna's birth country, but I am ready to get home. Some things I'll miss are the communist music that they blare throughout the day from the lake (why doesn't the US broadcast God Bless America over loudspeakers 3-4 times a day to remind us to be patriotic?), walking around the lake, bargaining for everything, breakfast with the other families, and fresh tropical fruit. Some things we will not miss: motorbike exhaust, raw sewage on the sidewalks, stifling humidity, and people haggling me to buy ripped-off tour books. Also, I don't want to eat noodles or rice again for a long time ;-)

We passed!

As communist music is blaring from the square outside, the interview is over and we're comin' to America! Really the interview was more like getting your car registration at the DMV. I went up to a window and paid our $400 as Dan held Mai in the waiting area. Then another person at a different window called my name. We came up and swore everything in the visa application was true to our knowledge, the guy gave us a receipt, and said you can pick her visa up at 4PM today. Yay! Then we drove over to POLISA who is responsible for all the orphans in Vietnam. They processed all of Mai's paperwork. The nice people served us raw guava and some kind of turnip with a glass of water. Since we couldn't take any pictures at the US Embassy, we got a group photo at POLISA. Tonight we will go out to Alfresco's (the American restaurant) to celebrate as a group.(Dan is a giant among men. You could stack two Vietnamese up against him)

Good morning

Today has been a good day so far. We took Gianna for a walk around the lake and Dan took some pictures of us to fill in the gaps in the family album. At one point, some Vietnamese strangers came up to the stroller. Their little girl wanted to push Gianna around in the stroller which really scared her, like these people were trying to kidnap her. So I got her up out of the stroller into my arms. Surprisingly she didn't cry!! Dan quick snapped a bunch of pics. She was so scared of the strangers and at least knew that new Mommy was safer than these people. Hmmm, maybe that's a good strategy, get strange people to frighten her so I look good in comparison! Hahaha.

We went into Old Quarter and bought her a Vietnamese-style winter jacket. We also saw this interesting sign. These were just regular wooden stamps...there were several tampon stamp stores all in a row, the tampon stamp district! We didn't buy any. At 1pm we head off to the US Embassy for our visa interview. Wish us luck! Oh, forgot one more thing, here is a link to a video of Gianna teaching Dan Vietnamese.

Trip to Uncle Ho's

Today I am really depressed, homesick for Bruno, pizza, and my couch...mostly for Bruno. Martin and Khanh sent me this pic that cheered me up, but then made me cry. My broken shoulder is killing me, I have traveler's diarrhea, and I've really been feeling like a third wheel this trip. A few doggie kisses would go a long way right about now :'-( Looking back at the trip photos, its 90% Dan and Gianna, 9% Vietnam landscape, and 1% Barb trying to fit in as part of this family. And its not for lack of cameras, since we have two. Gianna will still only go to Dan. Sometimes she hates me and throws things at me to get me to leave the room. Other times she tolerates my presence and lets me feed her because its the only way we will let her get food. There are a few good times like when she fed me the chocolates yesterday or when she grabbed my hand in the elevator today after a bunch of people piled in. But I just feel like its going to be a very long time before she will ever sit in my lap, give me a hug, or let me stay alone with her.

This afternoon we visited the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum complex. The stilt house was nice, the rest of it felt like a real anti-Western tourist trap that you weren't supposed to photograph. There were about 6 people that told us in Vietnamese we shouldn't let our sleeping daughter's head nod to the side. Some of them were the soldier guards so I thought we were breaking some kind of law. One woman seemed to indicate it was because her head could get a brush burn from the stroller. So we put Dan's hat on her to avoid potential brush burn, then another woman came up and scolded us for having a hat on her. One of the other couples on the trip said they have got a lot of dirty looks they interpret as anti-Western adoption of Vietnamese children. So who knows, maybe that was what had people's panties all in a bunch. Then on the way back to the hotel we got ripped off by a taxi driver, not unexpected, but still annoying.

Tonight I just wanted to get on the next flight home and was sobbing, scrolling through pictures of Bruno to keep me from wanting to jump off the roof of the hotel. So we went to an American-friendly restaurant that was playing loud Beach Boys music for dinner. We had some questionable pizza, and I sang along loudly with the tunes, especially when they started playing my song: Barbara Ann. Gianna must think I'm bipolar, but maybe I am going a little crazy here. Take a look at the pics and you be the judge. Tomorrow is the visa interview, then Thursday, then BRUNO and home!!!!

Passport and SOS clinic

Today was a big day. After breakfast, we went shopping in the silk district with the other two families. We got Gianna two traditional Vietnamese outfits and some souvenirs for people back home. We bought a hat with the Vietnam flag on it for one person and Dan put it on Gianna's head. Apparently she thought this meant the hat was for her. Later in the morning when Dan had to leave to pick up her passport, she threw her usual "I want bố!" tantrum in which she was yelling "Vietnam! Vietnam!" and pointing to the hat. She put the hat on and continued the tantrum until Dan came back ;-) Sometimes she yells at me in very clear Vietnamese (although she never speaks when she's content). Its funny to watch because she's very frustrated that I somehow don't understand her demands that she wants to see bố now! And maybe if she speaks more clearly, I will take her to bố as she insists.

Her passport was ready this morning, so we took her to the SOS International Clinic for a doctor's check-up this afternoon. The French doctor was very nice; he reminded me of my French boss at work. He said sure, she's shy and withdrawn now, but he can see there's a little monster lurking inside that will come out once we get to America. Hahaha, yeah we have already met that little monster inside!! Everything checked out fine; they will send her sealed medical file with their decision to the US Embassy. When we got back to the hotel, they were cleaning our room so we hung out in the downstairs bar drinking Tiger beer. I tried to feed Gianna cookies and candy as a way to win her over and reward her for being a good girl at the clinic. She would take the candy and feed it to bố. But, in an unusual turn of events, she began feeding me the chocolates! She wouldn't eat any herself, just wanted to feed the two of us. It was as if she was saying "you guys have given me so much, here's a little something in return". She emptied the entire bag; we weren't about to tell her to stop when she was opening up like this and having such a good time.

Since the passports were ready and she passed the medical exam without issue, we are all set for our visa interview at the US Embassy on Wednesday. Assuming we pass the interview, they will either issue her visa on the spot or we will pick it up Thursday morning. This means we should be returning to the States on Friday as planned. I can't believe we only have a few more days here in Hanoi! The time has really flown by and I worry about her next transition to her new home in the US. Will we lose all this progress we've been making this past week? How will she react to the plane ride and the totally different sights and smells of New Jersey? We'll be ordering Vietnamese take out for a very long time.

Oh, I should mention, the loaner computer that Dan's work gave him has been crapping out. This might be the last time it starts up, who knows! (I wonder if the ants have anything to do with this...) He changed the battery and got it to work for now. So, if it blows, I can still make text updates using my ipod, but no more photo posting until we get back :-( Check out the latest pics from yesterday and today here.

Just chillin'

Today was a chill out day. The morning started off great. We had breakfast with Ryan and Jada. Gianna was in rare form. She actually got down off of Dan's lap and started playing with Jada. She was reaching for Ryan to touch him. You have to take a look at the pictures to believe she was actually running and laughing. After breakfast we took her to a local mall to get some new outfits. Later, she took a nap, threw a few tantrums, then we went to the Old Quarter in the afternoon with Jada and her parents. The Old Quarter is a very busy marketplace, what you would imagine old Asia to be like. It started pouring down rain, but luckily we had an umbrella. Still I got covered in sewage-mud, gross. After dinner tonight we went to the kids playroom at the hotel. We met a couple that has 6 kids, 4 adopted. They just adopted a 3 year old from the south. Ahn was very lively and a little aggressive. They had her for over 2 weeks now and are set to return to the States tomorrow. She reassured me that Gianna's withdrawn behavior and bonding to the father but not the mother is perfectly natural. She suggested I just stay in the room, doing my own thing while Gianna and Bố play. Eventually she will come around and wonder why I am not playing with them. Tonight we tried it out and eventually she threw a plastic shovel my way. I guess this is progress. Thanks lady from Connecticut with six kids, you really reassured me that this is totally normal for institutionalized children and not my fault! As I am sitting here typing, Gianna is watching Tom and Jerry, playing with Dan's chest hairs that are sticking out of his shirt. I tell her Bố is a trâu (water buffalo).

Tomorrow morning Gianna's passport should be ready if all went well (wink wink) with our application on Friday. Then around lunch time we go to the SOS International Clinic for her doctor appointment. They can hopefully look at her scabies and see if its getting better or needs another dose of medication. The doctors there speak English and see a ton of adopted kids with many diseases and problems.

Bố and Mẹ

Last night Gianna Mai went to bed early. At one point during the night she was calling out "bố!" and at another point calling "mẹ!". I am still skeptical that when she's calling mẹ, she actually talking about me and not one of her caretakers. This morning we took her and Jada for a walk around Hoan Kiem Lake. I posted more pics in the Kodak gallery here. She fell asleep in Dan's arms and is now having trouble going down for a nap. I came into the room and she was laying on the bed playing with her feet and her plush dog toy. She started crying when she saw me. I picked her up to console her. For the first time, she actually latched onto me with both arms and legs. She was crying, wailing "mẹ! mẹ!" She never called for bố, even though he was in the next room. I think this is a step in the right direction. With both Jada and Gianna, they seem to be bonding more with the bố than with the mẹ. We think this might be a trust issue with women. All of the caretakers are women and the kids have never really had male role models, so they don't know what to expect. The female caretakers cycled in and out of their lives, just as the caretaker Mai was most attached to left the day before her adoption. So they learned that women leave, don't get too attached to them if you don't want to get hurt. It will probably take a while to change this attitude with many heartaches for both Mai and Mẹ.

Tears for Gianna's friends left behind

This morning Dan went to get Gianna Mai's passport. When he left, she started crying. Their nap time is at 11am and she is madly in love with Dan, so being left with mẹ didn't sound like fun. I showed her pictures of her old friends at the orphanage which started to calm her down. When we got to pictures of her and her caretakers, she covered the screen with her hand. This is the first time I heard her talk; it seemed like she was calling out the name of her caretaker. Once I flipped to Vietnam landscape pics, she uncovered the screen. This was heartbreaking. Mai has spent the whole two years of her little life at the orphanage; its the only life she knows. Now to see her amazement at a soft bed, clean clothes, all the food she can eat brings tears to my eyes. She is so lucky to have been chosen when there are roughly a half million more orphans in Vietnam alone. Many will never be so fortunate to have parents. So I cried with her, and still cried even after she went to sleep. What can we do to help these kids like little cookie monster that was all too eager for food and attention? I felt stupid, we had brought a crib full of material possessions (clothes, bottles, shampoo, etc) when all they really needed was milk for the kids. We donated 2 million Dong but even that seemed shamefully small in comparison to what we have waiting for us at home.

On a brighter note, Mai seemed to open up a little more this afternoon. We were sitting on lounge chairs by the pool and she was on Dan's lap playing some sort of patty-cake game that we didn't know, mumbling Vietnamese. Jada and her bố came out to the pool. When Mai saw them, her face lit up and she clapped her hands! She really misses her friends and the orphanage. Sometimes we catch her caressing her dinosaur or her orphanage shoes, deep in thought. She gets teary eyed and wants to be held close. They say this grief can last for months. The sense of loss is overwhelming, but she has gained a new name, a new family and a new life! I finally uploaded the pics from the G&R ceremony and some from this afternoon you can access by clicking here.

First night and first breakfast

Gianna Mai slept through the night just fine. This morning we went to breakfast with the other families at the buffet downstairs. Jada had a fever last night but was feeling better this morning. Ryan ate very well and was feeding his mom food. Gianna ate a ton of food: noodles, rice, chicken, watermelon, and croissant. When we got back to the room, she drank more milk. Now we are watching the World Series (Phillies are losing!) and she is playing with her magna-doodle.

Everyone's home

Gianna Mai is now our daughter! We are laying on the bed listening to her musical dinosaur. Today was very emotional for me. The ceremony took place in a small conference room. Mai's caretaker was holding her as we signed our names in a big book next to her photo. Then we took some pictures and the ceremony was over. I will post those pictures later because she is watching me type and I don't want her to see her caretakers again...not just yet ;-) We went out to the van and the caretakers said their last good-byes. I was crying and told her caretaker thank you in Vietnamese. They handed her to Dan and of course she was crying, clenching her dinosaur toy in one arm and a bag of veggie crackers in the other hand. Mai only cried for half the van ride home. I started waving to the motorscooters and saying hi to them in Vietnamese. That kept her entertained until we got to the hotel. The kids were mesmerized by all the mirrors and shiny metal in the lobby. Hang came up with us and Ryan came over for a play date. We got out all the toys and Linda had some balloons that went over very well. Dan was holding Mai the whole time, reading her books. Ryan et al. snuck out and there were no tears on either side. I prepared a banquet of Vietnamese kid-friendly food. In the end, all she ate was her veggie crackers from the orphanage and a "juice box" of milk. But that was enough for the first night! We gave her a bath in her giant inflatable duckie tub. She insisted on standing, fussed just a little but didn't cry. I treated her for scabies and she seemed to really like the massage. Then we put her in her Daisy Duck panties and skull romper that surprisingly fit just right (2T from Gap). OK, enough typing. Thanks for all your encouragment, thoughts and prayers.

There may be some delay in getting her passport...we will find out tomorrow if this will delay our return home. Dan is going alone with Hang to the passport office and I will stay with Mai at the hotel.

Getting ready for Gianna

Later this afternoon we are the official parents of Gianna Mai! Woo-hoo! The car will come pick us up at 2pm and we should return to the hotel around 5pm. In the mean time we are watching the Phillies in the World Series on ESPN International. I was getting antsy and went shopping downstairs. I bought a lot of rice, noodles, Vietnamese baby porridge, rice cereal, and biscuits. Milk is relatively expensive due to the Chinese poisoning the supply with melamine but I bought a lot of the melamine-free milk imported from New Zealand. Even her formula had some sort of warning on the label about melamine. Hopefully it said "contains no melamine" instead of "now with more melamine!", but the label is in Vietnamese, so who knows. Later we'll go back to that farmer's market selling roast dog and buy some fresh fruit that she likes. We also need to stop by the baby store again to pick up a few more toys. They said she likes plush toys and blocks the best. Hmmm, maybe I will get some fresh flowers when we are at the market to welcome her home. She seemed to be a fan of flowers as we were walking her around the courtyard at the orphanage.

OK, its the 9th inning. At the risk of jinxing the Phillies, a win will really make this a perfect day!

Progress

The second trip to the orphanage went much better than the first. We started off by meeting with the orphanage director and presented her with gifts for her and the orphanage staff. When most of the other people were at the car retrieving gifts, she told me (through a translator) that they had chosen Mai especially for me. Mai is one of their favorites and they wanted someone young and beautiful. Now she is certain they had made the right choice; we are the perfect match :-) Hahaha, thanks lady!

One of the main things that made yesterday's visit so hard was her caretaker. But today we found out as of this morning, that caretaker is gone for good and another has taken her place. The new caretaker was more open and friendly. She told us all about Mai, how she likes watermelon and bananas, prefers to play with blocks, and likes to sing songs and count on the potty. Mai was still very shy when she saw us, but we came prepared. The musical dinosaur doll held her interest. Then we showed her the new dress we bought for her. They immediately stripped her down and put it on. She was clenching the dinosaur and let the caretaker feed her one M&M from us. I started showing her more pictures of con cho (Bruno) on my ipod. She loved it. Then Hang instructed the caretaker to hand her over to Dan. She started crying and Hang told us to leave the courtyard, take her for a walk. For the first little bit, she was trying to wiggle away from Dan, but since one-armed white woman was the only person to break her fall from 6 ft up, she soon started clinging to him. Hang was there comforting her in Vietnamese. After about 5 mins, the hard crying stopped. I was wiping her tears and nose and she got this look on her face like, hey these people aren't so bad. She stopped crying all together as we took her for a walk around the compound (prison yard). We said hi to the prisoners, looked at some flowers, and played with the dinosaur. I did my best motor scooter impression when we saw a parked bike and she seemed entertained. When she caught a glimpse of her caretakers again, she started to cry, but it stopped after they were out of site. I'm very happy that she was clinging to Dan. Even without a broken shoulder, I don't have much stamina to hold a 2 year old for that long and I want to make a good impression here. At the end of the day, they brought her back out to say good-bye. She let me kiss her on the cheek and Dan kissed her on the head without any tears or resistance.

I am not sure what will happen tomorrow. We leave for the Giving & Receiving ceremony at 2PM. Its located at POJ's office in Hanoi, so the drive will be much shorter. The director of the orphanage and 3 caretakers will bring the kids from the orphanage to Hanoi by car. After the ceremony, we will bring them back to the hotel kicking and screaming as a group. Hang suggests we put them all in the same room to settle down and play together. For best results, cram it full of toys, candy, and milk! We'll have to bathe and medicate them right away, but one step at a time. I'll probably be too busy tomorrow night to post pics after the G&R, but will do my best once I get a chance. Pics from today are posted in a new album (should be titled Dan and Gianna).

Roast Dog and Bia Hoi

This morning Dan and I went on a hunt for Bia Hoi, Vietnam's famous beer. It is brewed fresh each morning in the countryside and distributed in the city. You are supposed to drink it before noon, when it is at its freshest. So when in Vietnam, do as the Vietnamese do. We were gulping ours down around 9:30. It did not disappoint, the beer was arguably the best I've ever had, even though the glasses were very dirty and something was floating in Dan's beer. The total price for 2 beers was about $0.50 and we got to drink them with a group of soldiers. Afterwards, we strolled around a local market selling all types of fresh food and wares. The last stalls were selling roast dog. The heads were left on most of them, so you could clearly see their poor little noses. There are a few more pics from this morning that I uploaded into our Kodak gallery. In less than an hour we leave for the orphanage armed with toys, more candy, and a determined attitude. Today we meet with the orphanage director and get to ask her caregiver questions about her naps, potty, food, and play habits. We also distribute our gifts to the caretakers and donations to the orphanage. Its like Christmas in October!

Rocky Start

As my new friend Joe said, Rome wasn't built in a day. Today Hang took us to the orphanage to meet our kids. It was about 1.5 hr drive from Hanoi, up into the mountains. Its located at a prison complex, so security was pretty tight. After passing through a few checkpoints, we got out of the van and walked the rest of the way. There were kids running around inside a courtyard and my heart began to race, hearing their little voices. As we entered the gate, I spotted Jada and then Ryan. My eyes were frantically searching for Gianna. Finally we spotted her. Her caretaker was holding her running across the courtyard for the dormitory. We weren't sure what was going on. Jada was meeting Joe and Maria, and Ryan was already in Linda's arms wailing. Finally they brought Gianna out and our eyes met. She was curious at first, like who are these strangers--a one armed woman and tall bald white guy. She became shy, then terrified. By the time her caregiver handed her over for me to hold, she was crying at a good pitch. But instead of letting me hold her, they grabbed her back and took her away! The other kids were crying too, but Gianna's caretaker seemed very protective. I am trying to look at it from her perspective; obviously she loves Gianna very much.

In the meantime, we handed out a lot of candy to the other kids. This one guy that I nicknamed cookie monster was more than ready to come home with us. He made me feel good; at least one of the kids liked us.Finally Dan got his chance to hold her, but unfortunately her reaction was the same...You can see more photos from the orphanage by clicking here. We will go back tomorrow and try it all again. This time we are bringing her a toy that plays music. They also requested we bring her dress for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony on Thursday. Oh, shout out to Susan. I think I snapped some pics of your son, but wasn't sure which one was him!

We also took a walk around Hoan Kiem Lake and visited HoaLo prison, AKA the Hanoi Hilton where John McCain was held prisoner. Those photos are coming soon to the main Vietnam photo gallery. Today was emotionally draining. My shoulder was killing me from the long van ride on bumpy roads and from holding Gianna. But I took a vicodin and feel much better now :-)

Going to the orphanage today

Last night we got a call from Hang that we will be going to the orphanage today and tomorrow (Tues and Wed). She said it will be a good idea to bring candy for the kids. Thankfully I brought along a large bag of M&M snack packs for just such an occasion. We are really excited, but I don't feel nervous. I just can't wait to see her little face and want to know everything about her. Seeing the kids two days in a row before we take custody will be a great transition. We need to call the front desk to get a crib delivered to the room. I am not convinced she will want to sleep in it, but this is what she is used to.

Hang will pick us up at 1pm to go to the orphanage, so in the mean time we'll take in some of the sites. It turns out we are staying at the infamous Hanoi Hilton! Yes, this hotel is built on the site of the old prison camp where John McCain was held captive during the Vietnam war. There is a small museum around the corner that I want to check out. I also want to walk up by Hoan Kiem Lake, which is a few blocks away. OK, time to shower and get this day underway!!

We're in Hanoi safe and sound

After 24 hrs of airports and airplanes, I am sitting in our hotel room in Hanoi! Thirteen hours from Vancouver to Hong Kong was pretty rough, I don't even want to think about our flight back which is direct from Hong Kong to JFK (~18 hrs) with a 2 year old. I snatched a bunch of photos on the way from the airport to our hotel but am having trouble uploading them into my album right now. This afternoon we go to get our visas renewed. At the airport, the person that picked us up asked if we wanted to go see our kids this afternoon. YES! But then we found out if we went today, we could not see them again until Thurs. So we agreed to keep our original play date scheduled for Wed afternoon. They showed us Gianna's visa photos and she looks bad! They have cut her hair way short again :-( Poor kid.

I was able to upload some pics; take a look at the album. More pics will be added throughout the trip, so check back if you're looking for those money shots of Gianna!

In Vancouver

We are in the Vancouver airport waiting to get back on our plane. I got a few mins of sleep on the plane but not much. Everything went great at JKF, thanks in part to Martin, who dropped us off and helped with the luggage all the way to security. To pass the time in the airport, we watched some football in a sports bar, where we found out Penn State really gave it to Michigan in the second half--yay! Now I will try to sleep before they ask us to re-plane.

Leaving tonight

I got a good night's sleep and am ready to pack up and go. One of the tricks will be to get the suitcases outside without Bruno noticing. As soon as we start rolling suitcases around, he gets anxious. The more suitcases, the more anxiety. Our good friends Martin and Khanh will be house sitting for us and watching Bruno. Martin is coming over after the Rutgers game today and will drive us up to JFK. We plan to leave somewhere around 6pm, depending on the traffic report. Our flight actually leaves at 11pm, not 9pm like I had posted in our itinerary. We fly to Vancouver to re-fuel, then to Hong Kong, then to Hanoi. It will be 24 hrs total travel time, but I'm not really sure how long each segment will be. If I can get wifi in any of the airports, I will post a short update that we are OK!

2 more days :-)

The luggage is packed and we are ready to roll! Too bad its only Thursday. We are bringing 3 suitcases, 2 backpacks, 1 laptop case, and probably my purse as the final carry-on. That's pretty good packing for 2 weeks in Vietnam, if I do say so myself. To be fair, we plan to buy a lot of stuff over there like clothes for Gianna and a stroller. But, that big green suitcase is filled entirely with gifts, so there will be room to bring stuff back.

Bad Luck

That Alanis Morisette song "Ironic" is on the radio at work and it reminds me of our current situation. Finally we are traveling to pick up Gianna (this Saturday--yay!!!), and I have a broken shoulder (booo!). The doctor called last night to say their compulsory x-rays for the rotator cuff tear showed my scapula is clearly broken near the shoulder joint. How long have I been walking around like this? They kept asking me if I play contact sports or was in a car accident lately. No! I go to orchid shows and play with my 10 lb dog! So I have to go see an orthopedic surgeon ASAP--after we get back from Vietnam. They will likely do surgery to repair the bones (using screws and a plate) and work on any tendons that are torn. But all of that will be up to the surgeon. Someone at Dan's work broke his shoulder in a car accident and went to see the orthopedic surgeon for the NY Rangers. So I'm going to try to get an appointment there. They can't start physical therapy until after the consult with the surgeon and more imaging, so until then, my arm will be in a sling, immobilized.

Now Bittersweet Symphony is on the radio (why does my neighbor listen to all this apropos soft rock?). I am thankful for my one good arm and hopeful that this is the end of bad news before we leave for Vietnam. Now back to my last week at work...

Sooooo angry

First off, I am not angry because something bad happened with the adoption travel, everything's fine there. I am angry at my disease, my nemesis, the guy that's always pulling me down as I'm fighting him to get back up. Well today score one for CPT2. For the past few weeks my left shoulder has been getting worse and worse. I have muscle atrophy and weakness in my upper body from CPT2, but most of my daily problems involve the nerve and muscle damage in my legs. So this shoulder pain was unexpected. On Dan's urging, I finally decided to see my doctor. Turns out I tore my [expletive] rotator cuff! [More expletives]. They have to see the films before deciding if it needs surgery or if a sling with months of physical therapy will be treatment enough. How am I going to hold Gianna? How will I get her in and out of the car seat or her crib? My right arm is my caning arm and now my left arm is in a sling. Not that holding a 20 lb toddler was going to be easy for me in the first place, but I at least wanted to be the first one to hold her at the orphanage. Now she'll have to settle for a handshake, I guess? I just want to be like the other moms. I spent the last two years working on my leg strength so that I could proudly walk into that orphanage without a cane...so this shoulder injury is really frustrating to say the least.

These are issues I have worked on with my disabilities counselor and physical therapist. People with disabilities still make wonderful parents! Kids are remarkably willing to make accommodations like Mommy can only hold you if you're sitting on her lap and Daddy will get you out of the car seat. So what if they hand her to Dan to hold instead of me at the orphanage [heart breaking]? Its just part of this messed up life...and it makes me angry.

Just waiting

Nothing new to report, still waiting to see if the October 18th travel date becomes a reality. They sent us our plane tickets already, and we got our absentee ballots in the mail so we won't miss the election. Our adoption coordinator gets married this weekend and Hang goes to China around the same time, so I imagine we won't hear anything until the last minute. Now just twelve more days...twelve long days to go.

Date with Destiny

POJ has assigned our Giving and Receiving date for Thursday, Oct 23rd. This will be the day we get custody of Gianna. As a wise woman once said, nothing is ever certain with international adoption until you are on the plane ride home. That being said, they are very certain this is our final confirmed itinerary. We have even purchased the tickets with real money this time. Even though Gianna will be a lap baby on the flight home, they are still charging us over $600 for her ticket. You don't even want to know how much the adult tickets cost...yeesh. Thanks to Mom and Dad Landis for their generous contribution to our travel expenses.

Sat Oct 18, 9PM: depart JFK for Hanoi Vietnam.

Mon Oct 20, 10AM: arrive Hanoi Vietnam. Check in at hotel (Somerset Grand) and apply for visa extensions.

Tues Oct 21: Free time/sightseeing in Hanoi.

Wed Oct 22: In the morning, go to the orphanage for a long visit. This is the first time we will meet Gianna and her caretakers. However, they will not let us take her with us as previously stated.

Thurs Oct 23: Giving and Receiving Ceremony at POJ in the afternoon. The orphanage workers will bring our kids to POJ via private car. We sign papers giving us full custody of Gianna and take her back to the hotel with us.

Fri Oct 24: In the afternoon, apply for Gianna's Vietnamese passport at Hanoi immigration office.

Sat/Sun Oct 25 & 26: Sightseeing in and around Hanoi

Mon Oct 27: In the morning, pick up Gianna's passport, then take her directly for US visa medical check-up.

Tues Oct 28: Sightseeing around Hanoi

Wed Oct 29: Visa interview at US Embassy in Hanoi

Thurs Oct 30: Pick up visa in AM; sightseeing around Hanoi, prepare for return home.

Fri Oct 31: Depart Hanoi 10:45 AM, arrive JFK in PM (longest Halloween ever).

The return home date is flexible if we run into trouble over there and have to extend the trip. I think I wasted all my excitement on the last travel date and just feel apathetic, not wanting to get my feelings hurt again if there is ANOTHER delay. We will keep our fingers crossed that there are no more problems with this adoption.